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Does an Ambitious Woman Turn Men Off?

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A lot of times - particularly with men - culture has shown people that if you wanna attract people, you wanna be successful. Purchase my course "The Psychological Game of Attraction": https://dalexis-school.thinkific.com WORK WITH ME 1-1: https://mindfulattraction.org/inner-game-coaching/ Purchase seminars & books: https://mindfulattraction.org/new-products-1/ JOIN MY FB GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindfulattraction20 Follow me on twitter for updates: Twitter.com/dalexispe Follow me on instagram: @dalexisp The problem is that that perspective is usually applied to men, and their masculinity; and it goes with what women want in a man - which is successful guys. That's more of a primordial desire in a man because a man who is successful will be able to help the children out. The problem is that when women take that advice and use it for themselves, it doesn't blend in with femininity that much. I'm not saying that successful women can't be ambitious. The problem is that you gotta know your clientele; you gotta know that men derive their sense of self, and their confidence from feeling as though they are successful. The problem is that confidence sometimes is equated to contrast - which is to say, you feel confident depending on the person around you; It's more 'situational' confident. So you can feel confident around someone who isn't as successful as you, but when you're around someone who is more successful than you (depending on where you derive your sense of self), you're going to experience a loss of confidence. If you are a woman, and you are successful - overly successful - there's nothing wrong with that. If you are dating from a man's perspective of what it is to be attractive, you're gonna experience a big disappointment; because you think that in order to get him to like you, you gotta talk about the good things about you - which is your success. Even though there's nothing wrong with that, the issue is that conjures up insecurity in guys. Guys wanna feel empowered around a woman. Guys wanna feel as though - it's not that they control you, but rather - they're needed; and when they come to a woman that has her life together, it reflects upon them their own lack of success. I'm not saying that turns them off. The problem is that you don't give them the opportunity to feel like a man; because you meet your own needs at such a high level, that they're not needed. Most of my family members are females. A lot of them have the tendency to wanna do things on their own; so they'll always wanna do everything, they'll always wanna fix a problem, they never want any help. That's all good and dandy - because you're feeling proud and whatnot. But the problem is that people wanna feel needed. So as a guy - when I encounter a woman, and she has everything together in her life, I wanna feel like I can help her out. The best way to do this is to actually orchestrate that you need help. Even though you know you don't need any help, you gotta realize that guys wanna feel needed. One of the ways you can do this, is: if you know that your life is always on point, act as though you need some help. Act as though you need him to counsel you; act as though you need him to help you out with this, to help you out with that. Even though it's not really making a difference in your life - from his perspective, he's needed. Another way would be - if you know you have an ultra successful career - hide it. I'm not saying to hide it because you're ashamed of it; hide it because you know what it conjures up inside of him. You don't wanna hide it out of insecurity; that's not what I'm telling you. I'm saying you hide it, and let him find it out gradually. You want him to find it out on his own (the level of success you have). A lot of women make the mistake of talking about the thing they're successful at in the beginning. A lot of times it's not done out of insecurity; but because you're just excited about your own success. That's actually normal, but you gotta remember: a guy wants to feel needed. So sometimes orchestrating moments of need - simply to make him feel like the hero of your life - is important; at least for the sake of the illusion. I don't have that problem. If you're successful, good. I need a sugar momma in my life haha. But generally speaking, most guys unfortunately derive their happiness and masculinity from helping a woman out. If you're satisfying your own needs too much, a guy's not gonna feel needed. Again, femininity is not about weakness. Masculinity is more about providing for the family; femininity is more about being supportive, not being dominant. The whole point is, if you are an ultra successful woman, there's nothing wrong with that; but just know your clientele - tone it down a bit, and know the guy that you're talking to. If you're too successful, you might intimidate him.
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Text Comments (39)
Mindful Attraction 2.0 (11 months ago)
Purchase my course "The Psychological Game of Attraction": https://dalexis-school.thinkific.com WORK WITH ME 1-1: https://mindfulattraction.org/inner-game-coaching/ Purchase seminars & books: https://mindfulattraction.org/new-products-1/ JOIN MY FB GROUP: https://www.facebook.com/groups/mindfulattraction20 Follow me on twitter for updates: Twitter.com/dalexispe Follow me on instagram: @dalexisp
Eliznica Roux (9 months ago)
So I must act stupid?? That is simply dumb!!! He can be clever and confident as is.. Not comrinising dor soneone else's insecurities
wilecatrexy (1 year ago)
Successful women probably wont have children or wouldn't be a very good mom. Women used to encourage men to be successful, but I guess the feminism bait has been consumed by many. Good bye future generations.
xyJeNzz (1 year ago)
If a man needs to feel empowered through a woman shrinking, that's no man. Mature men derive their confidence from themselves and their mutual partnership, where both partners support and help the other to reach their full potential. A man who thinks his only value comes from his superiority (ie. superior successes) in relation to a female has yet to mature.
Someone Somewhere (2 years ago)
these stupid people in the background
NickFX (2 years ago)
Bullllll Shiiiiit! Grow up guys, get a job, and then U don't need lies from a women, to feel like a man 🤦🏼‍♀️
snowwpea (2 years ago)
I agree with this, it's just human nature ladies. Men are men and this is how they are.
horrorcops (2 years ago)
and if hes a broke ass dude with no ambition, you're supposed to tone it down? If a man is not more successful than me I don't want to date him. I dont want to date any losers.
Er Kim Poh (1 month ago)
If your older than 23 men won't date you cus no man wants a wrinkled prune.
Shari Attarian (2 years ago)
this was a good video but make how if the guy already knows me and that I am a successful person?
Tanya Cameron (2 years ago)
I did think today's video was really good!
Noéllè (2 years ago)
There are so many angles to this. One of the reasons I am one of those women you speak of is because i had no parents so I am ambitious, finished college early and opened a business, I find that my level of success is intimidating and its not that I talk openly about it, more so a man will ask. Stooping myself down is sooo hard and I take care of myself because You really cant rely on anyone people come and go and they change. I just have so many feelings about this and those masculine "provider types" you speak of are not as prevalent these days. There are two sides to this coin...
Brittany Thompson (1 year ago)
Lea M you can be mysterious
Juju Simao (2 years ago)
I understand you.. I lost my parents too early, but one thing I do is, I don`t say to a guy (or whatever person) everything I have until I can trust he is not with me because of money hahah
Mindful Attraction 2.0 (2 years ago)
yup. There's no wrong answer to it. You either care to tell him or not care to tell him.
Amanda (2 years ago)
I get confused with this sometimes... I find this difficult sometimes. Cos I find it hard to pretend ygm?. I say it how it is kinda thing. Cos I was brought up to work for myself etc etc If I were to act needy I'd push the guy away, does that make sense. Yeah it's true, neediness is showing vulnerability. I guess not taking it too far, which I have in the past. Like you say, there's limits isn't it. Hmm I see where you're coming from When you say be needy etc etc. Im going to try it out
M M (2 years ago)
this often is the case if a man is younger than me
Elizabeth Cantin (2 years ago)
The guys who don't have the confidence to handle my success are not welcomed in my life anyway!
NickFX (2 years ago)
Elizabeth Cantin EXACTLY 😈😈😈 For so long Man had all the privilege to be stronger, own more, be the boss, they allowed to cheat etc etc ect ...🙄well times are changing BITCES, get Used to it 😡
Sara Gara (2 years ago)
Lol
Mindful Attraction 2.0 (2 years ago)
true. but it's not about handling it, but more about easing him into it. But no one is wrong doing either or tbh.
Lya'cee Elle (2 years ago)
You doing great body!! Keep on keeping on 😘👌
laughnowcrylater (2 years ago)
I would feel weird talking into a camera with strangers watching me
Mishele Clipper (2 years ago)
Women ALL ready "tone it down" and men should be willing to accept us where we are at. That's like saying "play dumb" so he'll feel smart. This only means he is talking above his level. Improve your game before approaching a woman out of your reach that way you're coming from a secure place to begin with. We need your strength as well as sensitivity without weakness. Give us a reason why we need you and we believe you. 💝 Place yourselves where you belong in our life and we accept you.💞
Mishele Clipper (2 years ago)
I understand your perspective. I enjoy your input and respect your opinion. 💛
Mishele Clipper (2 years ago)
I understand your perspective. I enjoy your input and respect your opinion. 💛
Mindful Attraction 2.0 (2 years ago)
and it's not even about being fully you, it's about toning it down. It's like light blue and dark blue, still blue, just different intensities
Mindful Attraction 2.0 (2 years ago)
hey it's all good. If you want to put yourself out there go ahead. It might turn off some guys, but as long as you're fine wiht it and don't come to me asking how to stop intimidating guys, then by all means do that. But just remember that most gys aren't as confident to handle it. So it's either you play down to them, or be fully you. Just make sure you're okay with the outcome. :)
🤔🙄😅🤔
Sara Gara (2 years ago)
Very good topic, thanks!
Sara Gara (2 years ago)
a male friend told me: guys want two things from a girlfriend. Nurturing like a mother and sex. Is it true they want to be nurtured like from their mothers? Could u tell us (in a video maybe)?
AiiRxBANDZ 24/7 (2 years ago)
Sara Gara yes its true coming from a Guy : )
Softfire (2 years ago)
I love it, you just going with the flow..your making a great point, dont spill the beans all at once and too dann it, that was me. Everyone in the background looking! Savage!
Ashley Takeover (2 years ago)
Feminity is about receiving
Twixx Sticks (1 year ago)
???
Mariela Benítez (2 years ago)
This is so funny you've been in every NY location that;'s fun can't wait to vacay! LOL
Binbin Li (2 years ago)
Point taken. Luv it
Woohoo (2 years ago)
Only Losers. make my life better, and you're helping.
Mindful Attraction 2.0 (2 years ago)
woohoo!

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