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For over a decade, David Tian, Ph.D., has coached tens of thousands of people from over 87 countries to achieve happiness and success in their dating and love lives.
Once a nerdy, skinny professor of Asian philosophy who couldn’t hold a conversation to save his life, David is now director of Aura Transformation Corp., and a world renowned dating and life coach. Dr. Tian has been featured in international media, including AXN, Cosmopolitan, Psychology Today, as well as co-hosting a radio show on national radio and a weekly dating advice column in a national newspaper in Singapore. Formerly a professor at the National University of Singapore, Dr. Tian is actively researching, speaking, and publishing in the areas of philosophy and psychology.
The show, “Man Up: Masculinity for the Intelligent Man (http://www.auratransformation.org/blog),” is David’s way of helping as many people as possible enjoy empowering and fulfilling lives, while contributing to the global understanding of masculinity in modern times. In the show, he takes your questions posed in the Man Up private Facebook group (https://www.facebook.com/groups/manup...) and answers based on his experience coaching (https://www.auratransformation.org/co...) tens of thousands of students around the world for over a decade."
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In episode 22, I cover how to go out to the bar or club by yourself.
Masculinity for the Intelligent Man. I am David Tian, Ph.D., and this is: Man Up.
Hey, Man. I’m David Tian and welcome to Man Up, episode 22. I’m answering a question again from David in the private Facebook group. It’s a very good question and it’s simply: Do you have any tips on going out to night clubs or bars by yourself? A little background from him: I tried this a few times several years ago if I was in the mood for going out and other people weren’t. A few of these nights were great but most weren’t good experiences. At the time, it felt weird to be out by myself. It also seemed to put a lot more pressure on me to constantly be in conversation with a group of people. Is it just a matter of practice and confidence? Is it something that you would or wouldn’t recommend doing? Okay, cool. There are a lot of sub-questions. Let’s do that, let’s answer the sub-questions first. I noticed, too, that given these questions and this background, David is not coming from a PUA background which is great. I like the blank slate a little bit; it’s easier to work with. There’s less unlearning that has to occur.
So: A few of these nights were great but most weren’t. At the time, it felt weird to be out by myself because – I’m assuming because it seemed to put a lot of pressure on me to constantly be in conversation with a group of people. Notice this, it feels weird to be out by yourself because you feel like you need to be talking to people when you’re in a bar or club, that’s all in your head. It feels weird to you. Imagine a really cool guy was standing at the bar, enjoying his drink and smiling and just really comfortable. Would you go like, “That guy’s so weird.” No, you wouldn’t. You’d be like, “Hey, that’s a cool guy. I bet he’s waiting for somebody.” Or “He looks really comfortable in his element.” It’s only weird if you think it’s weird and in fact, once you think it’s weird, it becomes weird for everyone else.
"To read more, click here: http://www.davidtianphd.com/social-confidence/how-to-build-a-social-circle-while-traveling/"