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1. They are unsure about you. They don't know how they feel about you - They're rejecting your advances (to go out with you), or flaking on plans with you; They say they're gonna go out with you, but they don't. It means they have mixed emotions (like procrastinating to do an essay - if you enjoy doing it, you'll do it right away; if you have mixed emotions, you'll procrastinate). When you have mixed emotions, those emotions make you reconsider. One moment you want to get it done, and the next moment, you don't. If a guy's unsure about you, he's unsure about you in general. There is no doubt that when a guy likes a girl, he KNOWS. It takes a lot for a girl to mess it up if a guy's interested in you. If a guy's unsure about you, he might not be as physically attracted to you initially. He's not sure if he wants to continue going out with you, or if he wants to dump you, or continue the conversation going.
Live Question: How do you change those mixed emotions?
2. He has other options. When a guy has other options, he has the liberty to slack off a bit. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you. He might be attracted to you, he just has other options, so he can wait. He may take a long time – or even DAYS – to text you back, because he has other women in his life. You may be the side girl. He won’t tell you that, but when you notice he’s hesitant, maybe he found another girl, or he has another girl to hang out with. Sometimes you’re on the back burner. We all do it!
3. He has fear of women. Some guys are genuinely afraid. When the time comes to meet up, they back off. Girls do this, too. Maybe ask him to Skype. You can never really find out if he has this fear because it will be hidden under layers of excuses – excuses that look valid, excuses that look real. …unless Grandma keeps dying. Grandma can’t die 5 times!
Live Question: What if they get lazy after they feel like they finally have you? (After you played hard to get, to get him hooked).
You always have to be giving guys space; moving forward, then taking a step back. The next time he calls you, don’t return his phone call. It makes them kind of afraid. You need to once in a while let him know that you could meet other guys. Watch my video,"How to make a man weak, how to make him miss you." It’s like video games – you have to keep upgrading it every year – more graphics, more features – keep improving. The way to improve the relationship is by giving him the contrast of what would happen if he loses you. You want to keep taking a step back, so he realizes what a great person you are. For example – you won’t really appreciate living until you’re almost dying. You'd never appreciate breathing until you can’t breathe, because you have a stuffy nose. People will only appreciate you once they feel like they’ve lost you. You’ve got to learn how to subtly and incrementally implement space so that he feels that he loses you…maybe not completely, but partially – so that he can have a sliver of doubt (wondering if you have a new guy, etc)….BUT you have to have a reputation of being a good person, so it’s not seen as cheating. You need to prove yourself over time and consistency if you don’t have a clean reputation.
4. He’s teasing you. This is the unlikely one. Most guys aren’t patient enough, or haven’t studied and learned this skill set. Most guys won’t intentionally tease you; most will do it accidentally (for instance, if they’re seeing another girl). What seems like teasing is actually him being inconsistent with you because he has another girl. So sometimes they’re not playing, they’re just reacting.The analytical brain – when it’s turned on, the social brain turns off. Then you’re not aware of social cues; you’re not aware of the environment because you’re inside your head. When people are inside their heads, they have ‘conversational narcissism,’ - they believe that what they have to say is more important. As a result, they look past other people’s signs of trying to shut them up, to express their thoughts. Because of that, it jades them, and makes them less socially affable; they’re not socially aware. Once the analytical brain is shut down, the social brain can take over. You can get into this flow state when you’re in a conversation with someone. The only way to do that is through shutting the mind down. That’s why when you’re around friends, it’s free flowing, and you don’t need to think about what to say next.